


Is 'to bowl' a verb? And other poignant questions.

by bigtoasty



Series: family night with the zoldycks [2]
Category: Bowling - Fandom, Hunter X Hunter, IS IT - Fandom, IS IT THOUGH, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, No kinky sex this time sorry to disappoint my fans, god wrote this its in the bible go check, special thanks to MBMBAM for the designer heelys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13346805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigtoasty/pseuds/bigtoasty
Summary: It's time for our favourite murder boys to have a game night again.





	Is 'to bowl' a verb? And other poignant questions.

It was sunday again, and sunday was family day. Sunday was also the Lord's day, but they had shit on the dude upstairs way too often for that to be worth anything. And no, the dude upstairs was not Silva, although he was in fact a dude, and also in fact upstairs.

"We gots to go bowling dudebro" said the man (?). Yes, the one you did not ask for, but the one that was nevertheless there.

"What language was that" Illumi replied from the chair opposite of Hisoka's. Since it was family day, he managed to have his clown sit on a separate chair. And besides, the loveseat was taken by Hanzo, who was a character in this show before Overwatch ever considered existing. 

"I've had your brother teach me the cool new slangs the teens are into" 

Illumi spit out his drink "Which brother"

"Killua"

"I guess that explains that too" Illumi pointed to Hisoka's feet. His huge clown feet were covered in a sort of unexplainable pleather construction, studded from tip to ankle, and bearing on the soles a pair of glittery wheels.

"Designer heelys. The natural evolution of skateboards"

You could hear Killua losing it from……….. Well, from somewhere. He wasn't there for family day this time, but Gon was, and you could always somehow hear Killua when Gon was near.

"I'm here because I'm an extremely good boy" Gon stated facts only.

While everyone else ignored Gon's extreme goodness, Illumi stood up. "Fine, lets go bowling"

"If you wanted to touch some b-" Hisoka's mouth closed shut because bowling was his idea and God isn't allowing this joke to happen today. All the family and Hanzo and Gon followed Illumi out of the mansion. Illumi jumped on his motorcycle and the clown followed, holding tight onto Illumi's waist. It was super hot.

"That's super hot" said Hanzo, who was bald. 

They say you shouldn't doubt the reader's ability to put 2 and 2 together. That you should let your audience reach their own conclusions. Who said that? Me. So I'm letting you figure out how they got to the bowling alley and how they were allowed inside and whatever happened between then and now. 

The alley was full of tweens throwing birthday parties, who all fled just from the sight of Gon. Shouldn't they have fled from the sight of the literal murder family? Yes. But I suppose there is nothing scarier to a tween than a child 2 years younger than them wearing bright green and having the strength of a thousand suns.

"We have the alleys to ourselves. The clown and I will take number 37, and the rest of you can figure out how to actually bowl."

"Is that the proper verb?" Kalluto asked wokely. Grammar is woke. No one knew though because New Japanrica Yorktown didn't have google, only video games you needed to step into and literally maybe die just to get a piece of information. 

"IDK" said Hisoka, pronouncing it 'eye-dee-kay'. 

Illumi grabbed him by the wrist and wheeled his 6'9" clown boytoy (not named troy) to finally play the good game of ball sliding and pin striking.

"Let's grab some b-" Was something Hisoka didn't say. Thank you God.

Hisoka picked up a sphere. Gently, he shoved 4 weird clown fingers into some holes. Hanzo was still there but had no memorable personality and therefore didn't talk. He was also not a dragon. 

The monstrosity then did his worst to pose like he knew what he was doing and like he had any purpose in life. He lifted his handjob arm to throw the ball and revealed under his expectedly large sleeve a collection of, you guessed it, condoms.

"I know this joke is old, but I do think what the clown is doing is great for our community. Not only condoms are very effective as birth control methods but also prevent spreading of sexually transmitted diseases, which affect millions of people who do not have access to prevention and aren't properly educated by our government on how to keep themselves safe. Celibacy is a joke. Be woke. Don't do coke" stated Kalluto, who was now even MORE woke, taking into account not only pregnancy but also STDs

"You are a literal murderer" Killua's voice resonated from Gon's gaping mouth, that then closed like a lid, returning to Gon's face the expression of an excellent boy who loves bowling. 

"Please love me more than Alluka" Kalluto begged wokely.

Killua didn't. And also wasn't there.

In any case, with his condoms and all kinds of inhuman arm veins exposed, the clown threw the ball, aiming for the pins. Unfortunately, his shoe choice wasn't the most appropriate, and nobody gave him bowling shoes, so the 6'9" man slid together with his sphere, exactly as Sir Isewton Naac said he would.

When Illumi saw the heelys carrying his beef farther than he intended to go, he started walking slowly towards the pins.

"I have no regard for safety precautions" He had no regards for safety precautions when the dick was that good.

He reached Hisoka right as he was about to fall into the dark nightmare pit that is under every bowling alley.

"Thank you for saving me dear" Hisoka smiled

"Never wear these shoes again and I might consider fucking you again" 

"Only if you promise to grab my b-"

Illumi threw him into the pit.

"Hanzo" said Hanzo.

**Author's Note:**

> Did Hisoka die? Find out next time.
> 
> Thanks for reading it remember me when you're famous so I can be famous through you and release a sex tape and get richer than you and create my own mediocre makeup brand thanks


End file.
